www.bestiario.com/mantenido/d.php?id=102

EXCESOS. No guiñes los ojos. No subas las cejas. No gesticules. Ya puestos, sonríe con cautela y restringe las carcajadas. Pásate el día durmiendo, o dormido, qué más da: estáte quieto, eso es lo importante. Vive alelado, dopado delante de un televisor, de un cuadro o de una pared en blanco, qué más da, preocúpate sólo cuando parpadees demasiado. Cómprate una caña y deja que fluyan horas, días y semanas sin arquear una ceja, a pesar de que pesques una ballena blanca. Ingresa en un convento de clausura o en un monasterio tibetano y dedícate a orar en silencio, inmóvil y sereno, un mes tras otro, a ser posible con los ojos cerrados, aunque el éxtasis místico o el nirvana te hagan levitar.

Sobre todo, no te acomplejes. Tu cara se va a transformar en una máscara, pero no te acomplejes. El día en que celebres tu noventa aniversario con cara de adolescente, ya te reirás tú de todos los que ahora te critican. Entonces sí que te vas a reír, vas a ser tan joven, tan juvenil, tendrás una mirada tan jovial… El esfuerzo habrá merecido la pena, seguro que sí.

Para lograrlo, por supuesto, además habrás pasado años, lustros y décadas “cuidándote un poquito”. Es decir, machacándote en el gimnasio, sometiéndote a una dieta perpetua y reparándote el chasis con las operaciones quirúrgicas que sean necesarias, o que puedas pagar.

Todo, porque un día cayó en tus manos el número 15 de la revista Corporación Dermoestética y al ojearlo, como quien no quiere la cosa, te encontraste con esta revelación: «Además de la aplicación de cosméticos adecuados, debemos evitar los excesos en los gestos y expresiones que afecten al contorno de los ojos, porque esta zona se encuentra ya en constante movimiento con el parpadeo (unas 12.000 veces al día) y con problemas específicos como bolsas y ojeras». Desde entonces tu vida cambió.

Antes, insensato, pasabas señas jugando al mus.

[Versión para imprimir] [Enviar]

Publicado el lunes, 13 de junio de 2005, a las 22 horas y 49 minutos


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