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PUTAS. Las musas beben vino barato. Y follan como ninguna otra. Eso podría casi jurarlo. Lo sabía de otras. De todas esas que habían ido ocupando mi cama y mi cabeza noche tras noche y día tras día a lo largo de estos estos años.

Porque las musas son putas con alma de putas. No putas de boquilla. Son putas con mayúsculas. Y yo amo a las putas. Y a las musas.

A las putas se las reconoce por su olor inconfundible. A nada que un hombre afine su olfato lo suficiente, sabe reconocer a una entre mil.

Me gustan también las mujeres. Todas en general. Cualquier coño me parece una verdadera obra de arte que llevarme a la boca o el único agujero capaz de apagarme un par de infiernos. Y no desecho la oportunidad de un buen polvo. Ni le digo que no a un culo que se ofrece. Ni soy remilgado. Ni pretendo dármelas de hombre selectivo porque follar es un principio irrenunciable.

Y a follar se aprende follando. Y follando mucho. Y solo después de ese proceso, los sentidos se agudizan y puedes oler a esas mujeres que son la antesala de un paraíso. Esas son las buenas, joder. Esas son por las que matarías o morirías sin dudarlo.

Esas son las que te arruinan la vida.

El corredor de la muerte sin bragas y con un cruce de piernas que te condena desde el otro extremo de la barra. Y ser el reo que se las folla es una liberación de primer grado.

Ella era así. Ella tenía el sello inconfundible de su olor. Había olido su coño desde la puerta del Café de Mierda con su porte de mujer autosuficiente y completa. Supe en ese momento que no lo estaría hasta que no llorase delante de mis rodillas pidiéndome más.

Podía haberse sentado, coño, y haber disfrutado así del espectáculo de sus piernas encima del taburete. Pero se quedó de pié, en la barra, sacó de su bolso unos papeles, se atusó la melena, me miró sin interés y al acercarme me pidió un café solo.

Yo te pongo lo que quieras, morena.

Pero no le dije nada. Puse su café y me retiré a secar vasos compulsivamente mientras hacía crecer mi erección.

¿Cuánto tiempo tiene que desperdiciar un hombre hasta convencerse a sí mismo de que no puede perder esa oportunidad? Lo tenía bastante claro. He fracasado lo suficiente como para no tener ya ni toalla que tirar. Y eso, joder, eso te da una seguridad que ya quisieran para sí los que triunfan a diario.

Así que me acerqué.

- ¿No prefieres la prensa del día?

Me miró sin sonreír. Claro, la prensa del día, pensaría ella. Y tú, ¿no prefieres mi coño?

- La prensa del día, sí.

Y volvió a mirarme en una especie de amago de enviarme un poco más allá de a la mierda con un toque sofisticado.

- Tenía que intentarlo, morena. Vuelvo a mis vasos y tú te pierdes a un poeta fracasado entre tus piernas.

Y volví a mis vasos que secar y a mirarla de reojo.

Las putas son orgullosas. Altaneras. Las putas nunca pierden. Las putas prefieren morir matando. Las putas viven en la cuerda floja emocional de la que se tiran como expertas suicidas sabiendo a priori que caen de pie. Somos nosotros los que nos estrellamos y nos desmembramos. Con suerte, algunas vienen a recomponerte. La mayor parte de las veces, quedamos con los miembros cercenados y el orgullo hecho trizas.

- Fracasas porque eres un imbécil integral. Y por ese mandilón negro mal atado. Fracasas porque eres un cabrón. Un cabrón con suerte- me dijo arqueando la ceja izquierda.

A partir de ahí ya tenía el camino abierto hacia el almacén. Podía palpar mentalmente su coño debajo de su falda y saber antes de meter la mano que no llevaba bragas. Tenía en la yema de mis dedos su humedad. Su lengua jadeante y unas cuantas frases hechas que usaría sin temor para emputecerla, porque me sale de los cojones. Porque yo soy así.

[Versión para imprimir] [Enviar]

Publicado el domingo, 6 de abril de 2014, a las 12 horas y 44 minutos


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